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Nicola Shelley

Bye! How to leave well.

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen goodbye!


No, no, not me - I'm not going anywhere, but I am keen to share my thoughts on the process of saying goodbye and, more importantly, how to leave well.


I am passionate about supporting people through various transitions—whether it's leaving a job, moving to a new home, entering a new life phase, or retiring—and helping them do it with ease and grace.


This actually applies in a wide range of scenarios such as:


Leaving your job


Moving home


Changing role within a company or organisation


Retirement


Leaving and saying goodbye can be fraught, tense and full of anxiety but they can be made smoother by recognising that there are a few simple steps to be taken in order to smooth things out!


We don't need to lug around a heavy suitcase of poison and bad feelings for ever!


I have spoken to many people who have had bad experiences and have been carrying emotional baggage from previous situations. My belief is that if you 'leave well,' you don’t end up carrying toxic baggage for years afterward. Whether you’re leaving a job, a relationship, or a home, leaving well means you are more open to new opportunities because you’ve put old issues to rest.


A helpful acronym here is RAFT

o   Reconciliation

o   Affirmation

o   Farewell

o   Think Ahead

 

 

Reconciliation: Making peace. It is important not to carry the toxic baggage with you and yet it is hard to do. Start very small. You don’t need to reconcile with everyone in the same way.


Affirmation: This helps you move on. It is about acknowledging all those people you have worked with who have been important to you. Affirmation is important as it doesn't assume that you'll always have a chance to tell someone that they are important when it's convenient for you. 


Farewells: This is usually reserved for people but some find it helpful to thank a work space or room too…



Think Ahead: What is next? Time to make a realistic assessment of what is next. It can also be exciting with a sense of anticipation too.




Moving on? Want some support in managing those feelings and the process?

Do get in touch.



t 07501817739




Footnote:

When I left my job in Singapore after nine years, I was incredibly fortunate to have the support of two school counsellors during the transition. Their guidance was eye-opening, and I wished I had had this kind of support earlier in my career. With their help, I made peace, said my goodbyes, and expressed my appreciation for those nine years in a meaningful way. Yes, I did cry buckets on that last day, but that's okay—emotions are a natural and allowed as part of the process!


 


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