...or when the nasty stuff hits the fan…
It would be true to say that I have had a few challenging times in my life. Just because you are a coach doesn't mean difficulties avoid you - but you do learn to manage them better. Looking back on them with hindsight, (oh that wonderful gift) this is what I have learnt.
1. Make sure you laugh. If it’s that YouTube video of a cat playing pattacake or the little girl singing in the Christmas concert (my personal favourite- although seasonal). Or Del Boy and Rodney, Morecambe and Wise, Seinfeld. Scientifically, it releases serotonin and makes you feel happier.
2. Keep your friends close. Talk to them. Listen to them and if they are really good friends they will know how to listen to you and when it’s time to give advice and when it’s time to sit back.
3. Get some air! The fresh air – even if it’s cold, helps with clarity. It takes your mind away from the more intense moments, particularly if they are in front of a screen.
4. Know that it will pass. Yes it will. Yes, there will be some who like to utter solemnly; “It will get a lot worse before it gets better”. Ignore them – unless of course it is helpful for you to know this and act upon it.
5. Remember you are resourceful. This could be anything from your ability to fly into the kitchen and make something out of nothing, or having green fingers, to recognising that you are extremely skilled at organising. How could this skill be useful to you now?
6. If you are hiding in shame and embarrassment for something that’s happened remember the today's news rule. It won’t last. Today’s scandalous news is tomorrow’s recycling. This goes for viral videos and pictures on the Twittersphere and FB too. If you operate in this world, the post/tweet sinks rapidly to the bottom of the page and will soon become lost, because people loving a scandal and someone else’s bad news are always on the lookout for the next poor soul to drop.
7. Give yourself permission to be angry, cry throw things and shout and scream. Find a space to do this. Then once you’ve done it have a go at number 1 on the list.
8. Make a playlist of songs that lift your mood. Sing them loudly and dance wildly too- why not!
9. Make a list of what needs to be done. Start with micro actions (see previous blog) if you like. Enjoy ticking things off knowing you are moving towards something better (or away from something bad.)
10. Look ahead. Ask yourself what might be happening in 6 months. Run towards the light.
If the proverbial nasty stuff has hit your fan and you are struggling to find your resources do get in touch!