top of page

10 Years of Therapy by Hannah Booth- a summary

Updated: Mar 16, 2023

This is a blog which refers to an article in The Guardian by Hannah Booth on Saturday 30th April. She shares her experience of 10 years of therapy and how it has benefitted her and why now is the time for her to stop. It's an excellent (and long) read, so I'm summarising it here, viewed through a coaching lens. The original article is here.





There are many links between coaching and other therapies and I usually state that coaching is a forward looking practice. It allows us to look back into the past but not dwell there and certainly not to dwell on anything overly sad or difficult. (If you feel you have a lot of unresolved stuff, coaching may not be what you are looking for). However I felt this article had some gems of wisdom which were worth sharing.


In summary then, and not in the actual order of the article, with a coaching twist:


Proper change takes time

Whilst there is a certain 'magic' to N.L.P. allowing us to spot patterns of thoughts and behaviour in a very short time, please don't expect any 'quick fixes'! I mean if it's taken you all your life to get to where you are now it may take more than one session to undo it and make adjustments. I don't say this to 'reel you in' for long periods of time and more sessions, I say it because just popping in once may not do that! Be prepared to stick with it and allow time for 'not much to happen' Believe me stuff is happening. Sitting with something can allow stuff to surface that may be buried a bit deeper.


Tears are useful

Truthfully, tears don't happen often in my sessions, but when they do it is often in the form of emotional release. Be assured I'm absolutely OK with this.


Self acceptance is a real thing.

However much you may be sick of those quotes - you know the ones - 'I am enough' etc. there is some deep fundamental truth to them and it's up to you to find which one is your mantra. Finding and knowing that sense of self acceptance and feeling that you don't need to keep on grinding away to be better etc. is actually a solid and powerful feeling.


Don't be afraid of silence

I once had a boss who was an ex-police officer. Often when I talked to him he was silent and I ended up filling the silence with waffle and stuff and walking into long sentences which I couldn't get out of! Coaching sessions aren't exactly like this... ;)

We don't need to fill our sessions with constant talk. In fact you need time to think, so be comfortable with silence. It's when all the thoughts are settling and grounding.


The past holds clues

In coaching we do look at the past as it may give us insights into how we did things well and can be a very useful reference point. If it's counselling or psychotherapy you're undertaking it will be quite rooted in the past. It is good place to start for this type of therapy. I once did (as part of a course On Human Social Functioning), a very powerful exercise where I looked at two random events in my life. One was way back in the past, the other very recent.

I was completely and genuinely stunned at the emotions that came up in both events because they were exactly the same! At the time the course leader told us 'We are like a seaside stick of rock and our emotions and behaviours run through us, always.' It's looking at the past that can bring us some real light bulb moments and the occasional hammer on the head moment too. However....


Don't blame your parents!

You might well do initially (and may need to deal with that) but there comes a time where you have to let go of that and take control of your life now. Hannah Booth describes this as a 'therapeutic dead-end'.

The initial consultation is the place where you find out if coaching is the right intervention/therapy for you. If there's too much stuff from the past to deal with then coaching won't work for you.


Ask yourself the right questions

A therapist/coach will ask questions and they are carefully designed for you to think. The one that irks you and needles you the most is more than likely the one you need to answer. Yes, we ask a lot about how you feel, but it might be more than that. Behind every behaviour there is an intention and knowing what this is can be very revealing.


Check in with yourself

This can sound woolly! It means take time to acknowledge what you are feeling at this moment. We can race through our day/week/month and never really give ourselves the time to see what's really going on. Anger? Frustration? Sadness. Loss etc. It's remarkably powerful and important to know these things.


Know when to stop

Actually that is probably the easier part of coaching in that you generally sign up for 4 or 6 sessions in the first instance. Knowing that there is an end session can be a goal in itself - although there is no need to be constrained by this - if you need more time you need more time!


One major difference I have experienced between coaching and counselling (say) is the consultation (sometimes referred to a the chemistry meeting). In general I believe coaches are more open to having a consultation than a counsellor or therapist, although any good therapist will take a call and would answer questions about their style and process e.g. if you were looking for a particular style or discipline such as Gestalt therapy . You can do your research for both via the very useful Life Coach Directory or the Counselling Directory. where you can view and save the profiles of those you may like to work with.




 
 
 

Comments


Nicolashelleycoaching, Nicola Shelley coaching, Nicola Shelley life coach, Nicola Shelley life transition coach, Nicola Shelley career change coach, Nicola Shelley one to one online coaching, Nicola Shelley in person life coaching, Nicola Shelley Bristol life coaching, life coaches near me, online life coaches, best online life coach, best online career coach, best online life phase coach, most trusted life coaches, most trusted online life coach, most trusted online career coach, most trusted online life phase coach, most recommended life coaches, most recommended online life coach, most recommended online career coach, most recommended online life phase coach, most trusted in person life coach, most trusted in person career coach, most trusted in person life phase coach, most recommended in person life coach, most recommended in person career coach, most recommended in person life phase coach, show me life coaches near me, show me the top career coaches in my area, how can I improve my life, who can help me improve my life, who can help me organise my life better, do I need a life coach, affordable career coaches, affordable relocation coaches, affordable life phase coaches, affordable life coaches, cheap career coaches, cheap relocation coaches, cheap life phase coaches, cheap life coaches, affordable online life coach, is it expensive to hire a life coach, how much does it cost to have a life coach, how can I hire a life coach to guide me, life coaches to guide and help me in my career change, life coaches who can help and guide me during relocation, life coaches who can help me transition my life, life coach who can help me become more organised, life coach that can help me with career overwhelm, life coach that can help me with guilt, life coach that can help me with loss, life coach who can help me change career, life coach who can help me during career transition, life coach who can help me when I relocate, online life coach that can help me with transition, life coaches online who can help with overwhelm when children leave home, online life coaches who have workshops, online life coach workshops, online life coach training, workshops to help with transition in the workplace, under 500 pounds life coach, life coaching, life coaching near me, life coaching for successful people, life coaching for successful women, life coaching for successful men, life coaching for adults in Bristol, best life coaches in Bristol, Bristol life coaching, life coaching in Bristol, show me recommended life coaches from Bristol, show me trusted life coaches based in Bristol, career coaches in Bristol area, Bristol area life coaches, best life coaches in Bristol, remote life coaches, remote life coaching, one on one online life coaching, I am looking for a life coach in my area, show me all the life coaches in Bristol, how can life coaching help me, how can life coaching transform my life, what is life coaching, life coaching websites, most recommended life coach in England, popular life coaches, female life coaches online, female life coaches one to one online, female life coaches near me, female life coaches in Bristol, female career coaches near me, female career coaches in my area, female career coaches in Bristol, best career coach Bristol,

Copyright © 2024 by Nicola Shelley. All Rights Reserved.

bottom of page