Updated: Jul 26, 2021
A blog inspired by James Clear's quote from his book 'Atomic Habits'
'The more you let a single belief define you, the less capable you are when life challenges you....when you cling too tightly to one identity you become brittle. Lose that one thing and you lose yourself.'
James Clear. Atomic Habits: Chapter 12
Well that's quite something then isn't it? It certainly fits into the transition coaching work that I do and would explain why it may be very hard to move from one step to another. If we have defined ourselves in a certain way for a period of time, it can be a great challenge to shift seamlessly from one thing to the next. And yet we expect to, and we find ourselves uncomfortable or somehow lacking when things don't appear to be working out.
'I'm a stay at home parent.'
'I'm a CEO of a large company.'
'I'm the breadwinner.'
'I'm an active part of the local community and people rely on and trust me.'
'I'm in charge.'
I don't think people cling to their identity out of desperation. I think it is often subconscious because we're not always aware of what our identity is until it changes. We don't realise the importance to us of being in charge, or the go to person in a local community until that is no longer the case.
One of the exercises I often ask my coaching clients to do is to take a long hard look at their identity especially in the context of change. There is never any criticism implied or blame or sense of inadequacy when my clients do this either. It is a powerful thing. It is a very fragile thing too and I'm deeply aware of that when I'm working alongside you.
Maybe you need some help adapting to your new role?
Maybe you feel you're doing all the right things to move on and yet somehow you still feel stuck or dissatisfied?
Or maybe it's not a problem in any sense, rather something you'd like support with.
Do get in touch!